Help Tim Find Love
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Someone
Date This Man.

He's 31. He's a software engineer and yoga teacher in St George, Utah. He built this website because the apps weren't working. In person wasn't working either. Fuck... Ummmm, back to online I guess?

Evidence

Tim, in the Wild

// yes, the cat goes everywhere. this is non-negotiable. //

Tim and Willow on an adventure
Tim + Willow on an adventure
Willow was here first
Willow was here first
Wall ornament. Still in there somewhere.
Wall ornament. Still in there somewhere.
Willow, judging you already
Willow, judging you already
The Basics

Who He Actually Is

Age
31
emotionally complicated in potentially interesting ways
Height
6'0"
varies with mood and posture
From
Colorado
relocated to St George, still processing how this came to be
Education
BS Computer Science
used primarily to build yoga apps, this website, and the completely custom infrastructure hosting both of those and so much more
Religion
Hard No
high-feely sensitive atheist. all we got is now, lets make it a good time and be good to people, animals, and the environment.
Personality
INTJ
who begrudgingly pretends to be outgoing when needed (most of the time)
Job
Ethical Startup Founder
fuck venture capital. here to help people. essentials.studio
Also
Yoga Teacher*
*probably losing money on gas and he walks there. this man makes questionable career choices snazzytoast.com
Social Self/Friend-Assessment
"Some sort of 'tism"
— multiple friends, independently. relates to roughly 14% of people. you might be in that 14%.
Abs: Confirmed.

Abs: Confirmed.

He mentioned it in the stats section. It felt wrong not to back that up with documentation. This is what too much yoga looks like. Functional strength over flashy muscles anyday. Yoga = Life

// submitted without comment //

What He's Actually About

The Hobbies Are Real

"I have a billion hobbies. I've spent my whole life alone. Let's do things."

— Tim, with the devastating simplicity of a man who means it
Music — The Love of His Life
Guitar. Bass. FL Studio. House. Vinyl. He will soundtrack your entire existence.
Used to be a solid guitarist and bassist — they're wall ornaments now, but it's still in there. Produces in FL Studio (nothing finished yet — the intention is real and so is the setup). Amateur home DJ: house, EDM, bass, anything that makes him feel something. Streams on Tidal because he refuses to accept compressed audio. Has the speakers, the DAC, the amp. He will make music sound better in your life and be incredibly annoying about it in the best possible way.
// "You deserve to hear what music actually sounds like." — him, about you, already //
Yoga — Arm Balances, Specifically
Co-founded Park Yoga. Built his own scheduling software because Mindbody deserved it.
He teaches in the park. He also hated the industry-standard software so he built a better one. Arm balance enthusiast — the harder the pose the better. Will keep you healthy and mobile into old age. Registered teacher, actual practitioner, not just the kind who posts about it.
PaddlePals™ — Founder & Chairman
Every Concert on the Water at Quail Lake. Every single one.
He founded a paddleboarding group that attends every outdoor concert at Quail Lake. It has a name. It has a trademark (spiritual, not legal). Membership has its privileges. There is probably a spreadsheet.
Meditation & Hippie Shit
Mindful. Sensitive.
High-feely. Very sensitive. A tree emoji, a mushroom emoji, and a wink emoji.
Park Yoga crew

Yes, He Has Friends.

Park Yoga is a real thing with real people in it. He co-founded it, teaches it, and genuinely enjoys the humans who show up. The park setting was intentional — accessibility matters, no studio markup required.

// photographic proof of social functioning //

PaddlePals at Quail Lake

PaddlePals™ Is a Real Organization.

Quail Lake. Outdoor concerts. Paddleboards at sunset. He founded this. It has a name, returning members, and a culture. These are his people — the kind who say yes to things and mean it.

// membership is open. the vibe is correct. //

The Actual Case

Legitimate Reasons to Say Yes

Pro
Registered Yoga Teacher. Your future back will thank you.
He will keep you strong and mobile into old age. Private instruction, on demand. The man does handstands for fun. This is a genuine long-term health benefit unavailable on any dating app.
Pro
Will DJ your entire life. On demand. Right now if you want.
Good speakers. Quality headphones. A DAC he will explain unprompted and it's actually worth hearing. Vinyl. Tidal. He will soundtrack every moment better than you knew was possible. He cares too much about music to let you listen to anything mediocre.
Pro
Unparalleled work ethic. Fast learner. Aims to please.
Lacking some experience in certain areas — his words, fully disclosed. But watch this man commit. He built a company. He built a yoga studio. He built this website. That energy goes toward the people in his life.
Pro
He actually listens. Tell him your problems. He wants to hear them.
Vent. Tell him what's going right, wrong, medium. He wants to be in your corner and is tired of processing everything alone. He's good at it (usually — mishaps acknowledged).
Pro
Willow comes with. This is a pro.
Sweet. Cuddly. Adventure cat. Brings leaf gifts because she hunted them for you. She is a gift and she is non-negotiable. Her approval of you is pending. Based on current trajectory, odds are good.
// "I hunted this for you." — Willow, probably //
Full Disclosure

The Honest Part

Nobody leads with cons. He does. It's a whole thing.

Heads Up
Does not want children. Firmly. Thoughtfully.
He doesn't want to bring anyone new into a world that rewards individualism and sociopathic tendencies at scale. There are enough kids in difficult situations already. This is a values position, not a mood — relevant to surface early.
Heads Up
Atheist in Utah. He knows. You should too.
He cannot relate to religious people on an emotional or intellectual level. He shouldn't be in this state. He holds no judgment — it's a genuine incompatibility, and he'd rather be honest about it than waste anyone's time.
Heads Up
Mental health stuff is real. He won't take it out on you. But he needs a hug.
It hasn't been the happiest life so far. He's working on it. He's honest about it. He just needs good empathetic people. The vulnerability is intentional — but it belongs in the disclosure section.
Heads Up
Been single most of his life. Some gaps in "experience"
His words, not ours. He is a fast learner. He has a work ethic that borders on alarming. He aims to please. Things will probably work out fine
The Search

What He's Looking For

01
Fitness. Active. Open to yoga.

Essential. He needs someone to work out with, someone who gets it. His physical health and mental health are the same thing. He's not looking for a gym obsessive — just someone who participates and takes care of themselves.

02
Compassion. Someone who likes to actually talk.

It's been a hard life. He feels a lot of feelings. He needs people who find depth comfortable rather than exhausting. Not small talk — actual talk. Vent. Ask questions. Be curious about things.

03
Music lover.

Non-negotiable in spirit. Doesn't need to share every taste — just needs to genuinely feel music. Let him put something on and watch you react. That's the test.

How He Connects

What Being With Him Actually Looks Like

Cuddles & Conversation

Touch. Time together. Talking. Being quiet but near each other. He just likes to exist around good people. No performance required.

Comfortable Silence

Going on adventures. Sitting still. Both are valid, both are needed. He will not fill silence with noise — unless it's music, in which case it will be excellent noise.

Trauma Bonding (the good kind)

Submitting to brutally difficult yoga practices together. Specifically Ashtanga. Nothing brings people together like shared suffering.

Concerts on the Water

PaddlePals™ has open membership. Quail Lake. Good music. Paddleboards at sunset. The vibe is correct and the invite is standing.

"Put time and effort into getting to know me and I'll do so much for you."

— Tim, meaning every word of it
Next Steps

Say Hello

No app. No algorithm. Just an honest, slightly chaotic person who built a website because he's lonely and has strong opinions about audio equipment.

Make Contact

serious inquiries warmly received. sarcasm also warmly received.
compatibility questions available on request.